29 Life Lessons from 29 Years

Photo by Luca Upper on Unsplash

I started a new birthday tradition a couple of years ago where I write the same amount of life lessons for my number of years. It is late, but here are twenty-nine maxims I’ve found to be generally true.

1. Train for your lowest days. When hard times hit, you’ll default to whatever you have trained yourself to do through habit. Make sure the daily rhythms of your life will hold you up and not tear you down.
2. The greatest things always seem insignificant at first. Whether triumph or personal tragedy, often things begin as very small thoughts and actions. Don’t discount them.
3. Dress one step above how you feel. Especially while working remotely, how you dress affects one’s mental state. If you’re feeling down, dress up a bit more.
4. Rituals elevate routine from mundane to meaningful. Creating small moments of joy throughout the mundane tasks of the day can help you find new meaning in them.
5. Spirituality is non-negotiable. Spirituality is not a fringe subject. Research shows it is hard-wired into who we are. Take the time to discover your purpose and identity.
6. Don’t trust every teacher. Be discerning about who you follow. Just because someone sells a lot of books or has thousands of followers doesn’t mean they have something valuable to say. Be smart about observing the fruit and evidence.
7. Achievement isn’t everything. There’s more to you than what you produce.
8. Freedom is living within your limits. Limits are real, even if our culture tells us they are not. But creativity can thrive within limits as you learn greater resourcefulness.
9. You can’t…or you won’t? Own your values. If you don’t want to do something, be honest about it to yourself and others.
10. Skepticism is easy. Informed compassion & open-heartedness take work. It takes effort to remain open to people and experiences.
11. People’s real-life pains are not abstractions. Turning real pain into an idea invalidates the experience of someone in front of you. Listen first and with an open-heart.
12. Jesus came for the shame of things done against you, too. He also came to put things right and heal us from what others have done.
13. If you’re in a conflict, ask why one more time. Understand someone’s heart.
14. Be a queen/king of carrots. Mundane tasks are a challenge sometimes, but find a way to reward yourself for a job well done.
15. Start with whatever you’re actually willing to do—not what you should do. Be honest with yourself about what you actually want to do. Start there.
16. A spiritual upbringing can be an asset in a global world. Research shows developing a language of spirituality promotes thriving. Don’t neglect your spirituality—embrace it.
17. A lot of people in the world truly do not have someone who will listen to the things weighing on their hearts. A listening ear is a true gift. In a culture increasingly wary of strangers, sometimes it can be a gift to both parties to just listen.
18. The world has enough successful people. Material success is one kind of success. A kind of success that is more difficult is relational integrity and success.
19. Going with the flow will lead to a stressed life. If you approach life without intention, you will be aimless. Reactive responses are more likely when your direction is unclear.
20. Friends are not replaceable. Choose to really show up for a few people and see what happens.
21. A common goal can be a marriage superpower. Work toward something mutually beneficial and inspiring.
22. It takes time to build trust in marriage. It is okay to let it grow.
23. Experiencing a sense of belonging requires courage and risk. Belonging necessitates vulnerability. And vulnerability is risky.
24. Your priorities do indeed shift as you get older. It’s okay to change.
25. Desert seasons can feel absolutely desolating, but they bring clarity. Sometimes God will feel absent, distant and silent—sometimes when you feel you need his perceived presence the most. He’s not absent, and is likely working in the deepest parts of your soul.
26. A lot of us just want the church to be safe for the people Jesus died for. The American church has issues, and many of my peers have left. I get it—a lot of us simply want church to be a safe place for all kinds of people. Unfortunately, not all communities are capable of that right now. But within my/our spheres of influence, we can demonstrate something better and advocate for change.
27. Burnout can have soul-level consequences. Stop before you get to spiritual or mental crisis. Don’t wait to get help—get it sooner than you think you need.
28. Challenges in life can usually be solved by one of three things: Confronting the issue. Changing your mindset. Or changing your situation to one degree or another.
29. You can always start something new. It’s okay to be bad at something and enjoy it anyway.